We are the trouble makers!!

It suddenly occured to me that we create our own problems so we can learn from them and grow. It all makes so much sense.

The Full Circle of Happiness

You can have a child like happiness but it won't last because sooner or later you have to grow up. You have to start learning the lessons of life. We are here to learn and 2 of our greatest teachers are pain and problems. None can avoid these instructors. To get to the REAL happiness, that of a "street wise saint" - i.e. you KNOW the score and you are happy because you realize that this is the way things have to be - you need to go through a lot of pain and problems. But oh are the rewards so sweet.

What is the problem?

Generally speaking the problem is that you haven’t sufficently defined the problem. You are dealing with an effect and not the cause. The problem is usually that you are not dealing with the REAL problem. You are at the effect or at a secondary or tertiary problem. You are not dealing with that which will give you the results you want. You need to go deeper down the rabbit hole.

Problems

Once you understand the REAL problem the solution is often quite simple, in fact it is usually obvious. The initial problem is NEVER the real problem. As noted sales trainer David Sandler says “The problem the prospect gives you is never the real problem. If they knew it they would have solved it themselves.” If they knew the real problem they probably wouldn’t need you. This is why asking questions is so important.

Fears

I had a funny realization: not only do most of my fears not come true but even when they do it usually is no big deal. This morning I was listing a lot of my fears. The funny thing is that after listing them all I could think is: "So what?". I realized: 1) they wouldn't all happen at once, 2) that even if all of them happened sooner or later I could deal with them. I had dealt with worst.

Fallacious Arguments

You attack at the BASE arguments not the secondary arguments. You deal with the ROOTS and then the FRUITS won't happen.

Why Self Esteem Is So Important

The reason that self esteem is so important is because without it you will repeatedly trip yourself up - without even knowing it!! THAT is why it can be so insidous. Entitlement/ reverence for yuourself is the ultimate filter. It filters what you perceive and HOW you perceive it if you do. Because of this it filters what you think about, don't think about and how yi=ou think about it. Similiarly, it does the same thing for your actions, along with their consistency. Thus it ultimately shows up as your results.

Success and Failure

The more you succeed, the more you fail. Success comes through failure. If you are afraid to fail you are afraid to succeed. Let's face it. Success is the PRODUCT of failure. Obviously, you have to LEARN from your failure but that doesn't mean you can avoid failure. You WILL fail. So what? That is part of the price for ultimate success. If you are afraid to fail you are afraid to try- and that sets you up to be stuck. Stuck until you are OK with failure.

2 of Life's Tests

Life gives us 2 major kinds of tests. 1) Are you going to follow the bread crumbs (clues) that have been laid out of you? If not, why should life give you more bread crumbs? Don't wait for some grand plan. Follow the action items (bread crumbs) that life has laid before you. You won't be give more until you prove (via ACTION) that you can handle what you have already been given. 2) To see if you have really learned, life will test you multiple times, at arbitrary intervals, to see if you consistently ACT in a manner that shows you have learned the lesson. If you don't consistently act in the correct manner, life will keep on making you deal with the underlying issues until you PROVE that you have learned the lesson. You have to consistently take the right action before you can move on to the next level.

The Vicious Cycle of Laziness

I have noticed that I have been getting less and less productive. Finally, I figured out why. The vicious cycle of laziness. Yous eee the less you demand of yourself the less you do. The less you do the more lazy you tend to become. Then you demand even less of yourself. And so on and so on. I remember reading a book by John Wooden the legendary UCLA basketball coach where he said he pushed his players as hard as he could in each practice. In fact, he pushed them so hard that often they found the games to be boring! It was as if they were played in slow motion. In fact, Wooden said he could have taken a nap right before most games or watched the game as a spectator and he STILL would have won. Think about THAT level of preparation. Now I understand what he was saying. By pushing his players as hard as he could every day he expanded their capacity. They went into most games cleartly superior to their opponents becaquse they had been pushed harder during practice. In other words, the exact opposite of "The vicious cycle of laziness": The virtous cycle of hard work.

Random Notes 11/2

Be kind to yourself. Don't compare yourself to others. That is comparing apples to oranges. If you aren't told and you don't figure it out you won't know it. That is why education is so important. The last thing an abuser wants is for you to figure out that you are being abused. They don't want to admit that they don't know. That would open up a debate that they don't want to open. Stop allowing others to define you- it never benefits you. You set yourself up when you don't rever yourself. Until you revere yourself you won't see the possibilities, think the thoughts or take the actions that can result in success. Entitlement is a filter. It limits what you notice (Rectigular Activation System), what you think, what you say and thus what you ultimately do.

Why you need to study to get good at anything

You study material not so much so that you can remember it when in the field. You study material so that you can remember it when you are mulling over what you did so that you can reprogram your subconscious mind.